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We always assumed fat kids were a gift from God, sent here to amuse us. Apparently that’s not the case. Shaquille O’Neal is on a quest to slim down America’s corpulent children and expose the dangers of childhood obesity??with his new show, “Shaq’s Big Challenge.”

So far he’s off to a good start in Search?following its premiere, queries on the show ballooned 692%.??Alas, the ratings tell another tale. Despite the seemingly unbeatable premise of Shaq chastising chunky children, the show failed to draw a hefty audience. According to the almighty Nielsens, “Shaq’s Big Challenge” finished third in its time slot. Clearly, Shaq is facing a big challenge of his own.

While the show isn’t the runaway hit producers hoped for, Shaq can take comfort in the fact that his own searches surged 317% and queries on “childhood obesity” are edging upwards. Anything that calls attention to the obesity epidemic is a positive. We only wish more fatties were watching.

Shaq’s Big, Fat Challenge

We’re queasy just thinking about it, but Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest is imminent. The contest has gobbled up more buzz in recent years and become a 4th of July staple in Search. However, this year’s face-filling face-off will be different due to the absence of hot dog hero Takeru Kobayashi.

The king of competitive eating has won six hot dog eating titles in a row, but won’t be able to defend his crown due to a jaw injury. News of Kobayashi’s withdrawal sent searches on the dominant digester up 300%.

The gaping void left by Kobayashi will be filled by the gustatory prowess of Joey Chestnut. The American eater recently smashed the hot dog eating world record and was all set for a showdown on the national stage with his rapacious rival. Searches on odds-on favorite at Nathan’s are up 71% over the last week.

As for the object of their affection?queries on “hot dogs” are up 40% over the last week and related queries on “hot dog eating contest” and “nathan’s hot dogs” have also devoured their fair share of searches. While we don’t have the stomach to mow through more than a couple of hot dogs, we can provide you with this week’s top 20 hot dog searches…

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Hot Dog Searches Heat Up

When it was released a few years ago, the first “Guitar Hero” game rocked many a world. It was a blast to play and managed to appeal to both hardcore and casual gamers. Frankly, we’re surprised it took this long for an imitator to come along.

“Rock Band,” coming this fall for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, will attempt to steal a chunk of “Guitar Hero”’s loyal audience. However, the metal heads from “Hero” aren’t leaving center stage without a fight. “Guitar Hero 3” hits shelves this fall, and expectations are running sky high.

With gamers unlikely to buy two guitar simulations, “GH3″ and “Rock Band” are in for a serious fight. Below, we break down the buzz on each title and declare a winner in this battle of the (virtual) bands.

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Rock Out with Your Controller Out